TheJewishMarxist on DeviantArthttps://www.deviantart.com/thejewishmarxist/art/Having-Aspergers-686831246TheJewishMarxist

Deviation Actions

TheJewishMarxist's avatar

Having Aspergers

Published:
963 Views

Description

I have not shared this with a whole lot of people on here, but I figured that it was essential to know a little bit more about me.

So yes, I have Aspergers.  I am thankfully, high functioning, but still having Aspergers has caused difficulties in my everyday life.  I'm high functioning, and when I talk to people, most of them don't even know that I have Aspergers unless they spend more time with me, then they start seeing these examples that I'll describe to you below.  In fact, I have fooled many people that I am normal in such as way that they don't know unless I tell them.  In fact, when I have to tell a friend, a teacher, professor, or someone I just got antiquated with that I have Aspergers, they are very surprised.

It manefests itself in many areas and many faucets of my life.  I have examples:

Bullet; Pink  I have little to no understanding of social cues, such as facial expressions, some jokes, and how to tell by someone's tone whether they're sad, angry, or happy.  At the same time, I am very sociable as I can get along and carry on conversations with ease.  It's just if they spend time with me, they'll realize that I don't grasp things like facial expressions.

Bullet; Pink  I have interests that normally people would not have, because people with Aspergers and Autism tend to key on certain subjects.  For instance, mine are Politics, History, Religion, Science, Philosophy, and social sciences. I come off as a master of all trades, as I know a little bit of a whole lot of things, and a lot about a little bit.  It's sofficent enough to carry on a conversation. But when people have been around me, they realize that I am strong in certian subjects...at 4 I was able to engage about Quantum Physics, Nietzsche, and the War on Terror.  Not only that, I remember reading the Bible, the Torah, and the Quran at the age of seven, and I got into studying the supposed Tribulation that the Bible claimed would happen at the end times.  In fact, at seven I read the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence for my Weekly reading log.

Bullet; Pink  I have a touch of anxiety. and my mood can shift rapidly  I don't go into full out panic attacks like I used to when I was little, but sometimes I get myself worked up over small things.  Sometimes, the littlest things can set it off, such as getting a C on a Paper, or forgetting my medicine, but I have been able to manage it and try not to fret over things.  I mean, at one minute I may be a calm professor and another I want to burn down the who campus because I ran out of coffee creamer.

Bullet; Pink  I have certain things that I am sensative to, and the main thing is that sudden loud noises scare the living shit out of me.  Not only that, I don't really like being in a loud environment because of this.

Bullet; Pink  I am not a fan of physical contact.  If someone tries to hug me, and they're not a family member or close friend, I don't really like it.  Though with my boyfriend, I am trying to work with it.  I have gotten to the point where I like physical contact, such as kissing or cuddling, but if one tries to intiate contact with me and they're not close to me, I don't like it or allow it.

Bullet; Pink  Photographic Memory.  I have a photographic memory to a certain degree as I can memorize details of textbooks and places with ease and everything I see, hear, or observe will be permantly etched into my brain so to speak.  People with Aspergers tend to have a varying degree of photographic memories.  I for one have a full-fledged one.  Sometimes, I will come across to people as if I swallowed a textbook from time to time, if I engage them on a matter.


 I know what it's like to have a hard time socializing, as well as loud noises being hard AF to deal with.  Another factor is that I have sometimes weird interests that may seem peculiar to some people.  Like the things I key on, such as Politics, History, Philosophy, business, as well as social sciences, and religion all seem to people like peculiar interests to be in.  Of course, sometimes for me, socializing can be difficult, but I have gotten better over time.  I am very social, as I can connect with people and engage them with ease, but I often don't get certain social concepts, such as facial expressions, or even sometimes people's interests.  I don't really have mood swings anymore, but still, coping with Aspergers is harder than one may think.  I can talk quantum physics and Nietzche at one moment, but may misinterpret one's mood in another.  It has benefited me, as I am able to memorize intricate details and entire textbooks with ease, but it makes ill social fodder.  I have a whole lot of friends, but most of them span from childhood, who know that I have Aspergers and help me cope with it.  Sometimes I come off as weird to some people, and I am often misjudged as lazy or driven by a motor, as my mind has always been buzzing with plans and ideas.  What benefits me is that I know how to think outside the box and find problems to things that many "normal" people struggle with.  But I find a hard time engaging in typical gossip as I seem to be out of the loop, though I know what is going on.  For me, it seems sometimes when I am around my friends and they're talking about so-and-so's whatever that my mind seems to disconnect from the conversation, as it doesn't interest me.  One of the main reasons that I don't have trouble socializing is because my parents made me socialize and often seized every single moment to instruct me on social cues.  Like for an example, hygine, as I often didn't like bathing or grooming, but my parents trained me to be on a routine to groom, and even got me into wearing make-up (which I used to not like).  But that led to another extreme, as I pay attention to how I groom, and I have a penchant for clothes from H&M and business clothes, which explains why I make an effort to look nice when I go to classes (Like dressing in a skirt or a nice dress, or even a business suit (for females)), as I dress in Business formal constantly when I go to classes.  Much of the students in the class look on that as peculiar, as some perfer more casual dress, and i perfer more business like attire to go to class (Though I've seen people go to class looking like a hot mess or wearing granny panties, so i think I got a leg up on them).  Not only that, navigating a romantic relationship is hard, as you're not really into physical contact (though I have improved because my boyfriend s helping me), and not only that, you don't read people and you can't tell by someone's facial expression if they're mad or happy.  Not only that, some people are not into contact and having a physical relationship with someone with Aspergers is hard, though I don't mind all the romantic cuddling or holding hands and stuff...

There are also pluses, as I have a higher IQ and intelligence than normal people (which is why I graduated high school early and got a full-ride soclarship to USF for four years and am doing a Dual Track in Business Administration and Political science on a pre-law track), but I also am rooming with an older friend who I've known since childhood, and I try to be very consistent in taking my medications and trying to engage more socially.  (I still remain in contact with friends from the high school I went to, though it's hard being 45 minutes away from home :( (Sad))  I also drive, and I have learned to tune out loud noises and if one distracts me on the road, I have trained myself to remain focused.  Not only that, I am a very active student, and I love debating as well as destorying SJWs, and not only that Aspergers has wired my brain to think differently, as I can use deductive and backwards thinking to get to the source of the problem.  

 But it is managable, and I have learned not only to live with it but overcome it.  But Daisy, you should never be ashamed to have what you have, and you have to realize that it's okay, and you can overcome it.  It just takes one step at a time...
Image size
1200x1700px 1.45 MB
Date Taken
Jun 16, 2017, 1:59:55 PM
© 2017 - 2024 TheJewishMarxist
Comments54
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Minty-Eevee's avatar
Omg. Same. I have aspegers too! I get those feels. Omg. The special interests. I get you. I think Politics has become my new one. Police work was one of my most recent s.interests.